Presidential Humor

As impressed as I am by jokes told by occupants of the Oval Office, it bothers me how few Presidents were genuinely funny. Lincoln was renowned for his bottomless supply of funny anecdotes, and Reagan was an entertainer even in his Presidential years, but most of the other Presidents fall a little flat. Nonetheless, here's a little sampling of the humor of our Presidents.

When Abraham Lincoln contracted a mild case of small pox, he said of it "Yes, it is a bad disease, but it has its advantages. For the first time since I have been in office I have something to give everybody that calls."

Calvin Coolidge was known for how little he actually spoke. "Silent Cal" was typically content to appoint experts to their posts and trust them to handle things well, and he rarely contributed substantially to social events. At once such social event, a woman approached him and begged him to talk to her. "You see," she told him, "I have a wager with a friend of mine. She says I can't get you to say three words to me." President Coolidge replied, "You lose."

Franklin Roosevelt became dissatisfied with the official housekeeper for the White House, a Mrs. Nesbitt, and the boring, bland meals she prepared. "I'm getting to the point where my stomach positively rebels," he complained, "and this does not help my relations with foreign powers. I bit two of them today."

Ronald Reagan told this one: "It is said that Castro was giving a speech to a large assembly. And he was going on at great length, and then a voice from the crowd said 'Peanuts, popcorn, crackerjack.' He went on speaking, and again the voice said 'Peanuts, popcorn, crackerjack.' And about the fourth time this happened, he stopped in his regular speech and he said, 'And the next time he says that I'm going to find out who he is and kick him all the way to Miami.' And everyone said, 'Peanuts, popcorn, crackerjack.'"

Media coverage and security concerns had virtually eliminated any sense of privacy within the White House long before Bill Clinton was elected. When President Clinton gave him a tour of the White House, political consultant Paul Begala was overwhelmed by the grandeur of the place. Upon entering the Oval Office, his knees nearly buckled. "Don't let it get to you," remarked Clinton dryly. "This is the crown jewel of the Federal penal system."